School Diary - First Day of School

It was Thursday, 14 Shawwal 1431 H / 23 Sept 2010, in the morning. Alhamdulillah, since we pre-noticed Zahra the night before, on first day of school Zahra easily woke up earlier in the morning. Especially because we was amazingly welcoming the sunrise which was so round and red. It was a beautiful sunrise indeed. Besides, since Eid, Zahra had found no difficulty to wake up earlier in the morning.

I then picked Zahra on my hands and bring her for a shower. Afterward, I put on a dress to her. Realising what she's going to wear, Zahra asked, "Mamah, mau kemana kita?". I told her that we were going to school and that also means that she had to have breakfast earlier. Otherwise, she could get hungry and wouldn't be good for her. Alhamdulillah, she did not refuse to have breakfast eventhough in smaller amount than usual. After finishing her milk, Zahra grab her tummy and showed me a dramatic expression (children love to make dramatic expression, don't they?)- I responded, "Kenyang sekali, ya?". She nodded. It is easily understood why she got so full -because she usually had breakfast around 8.00 - 9.00 am, but that day she had it on 6.00 am plus a glass of milk.

It was 6.20 when we left our house to hail a taxi. Zahra looked so neutral. I didn't see nervousness. Instead, she talked and asked much as usually Zahra.

We made it to school. Zahra still looked fine. We made salam to the teacher's assistant and made an initial communication about the school. Then I just realized that Zahra's expression of cheer and enthusiasm had changed to worry and nervousness. I supposed that because Zahra got affected by a girl crying on floor. As we know, children are so sensitive by other's cries. It is one sign of initial empathy in children.

Zahra attached her body to me showing that she was not comfortable and did not want me to leave. I gave her my hand to be kissed and expected for a hug, but Zahra refused. She realized that I was about to leave her. "Gak mau....!" She asked me to stay. Ms Laksmi said that that situation commonly happens in the morning, especially in 1-2 first weeks. But in the following weeks, children get adjusted to the new situation and environment, and everything will go smoothly.

Ms. Laksmi and I tried to comfort Zahra and brought her to other kids who were not crying. Ms. Laksmi bring Adam -the Indonesian boy I mentioned in my previous diary-. Unfortunately, it made Adam started to cry instead. I brought Zahra to a girl, said hi, and made them shake hands, but both girls refused.

I had been in the class several minutes while my taxi waiting outside. I must have gone. Ms. Laksmi had given sign that it's time for me to leave. Without kissing or hugging Zahra, I sneaking out and left Zahra crying out loud. I did not feel worry though. I had started the day with bismillah, we'd made dua, I trusted the school and Zahra's ability for adjustment. InsyaAllah she is a smart girl and I left Zahra under Allah's guidance and help.

Don't worry, sweety. Yesterday you made it great. I'm sure you'll made it great too today! InsyaAllah....

Photo by Ummu Zahra (tapi bukan foto hari pertama ke sekolah).

School Diary - Day "0" (The Registration Day)

Nothing interesting. It's only a description of what was going on that day. For documentation purpose.....

I can say Zahra was so excited about school. Only few times she refused of school matters. What made her so excited about the school is the plays : the slide, the seesaw, the ladder, and the likes. After considering A,B,C....X, Y, Z and performing an istikharah, we finally decided for a registration agenda.

New academic term has been started since Sunday (19/09) this week. But we just registered yesterday (Wednesday 23/09). Alhamdulillah, seat was still available.

At the first place when entering the school yard, the play things attracted her at most. Secondly, she was wondered about the decorating paintings on the wall. Then recognised some letters painted on that wall.

We explained about the situation, about the class, the pupils, their activities, etc. (Well, actually we have pre-introduced and explained her long days before). Zahra was so excited that made her couldn't wait to join the class. Since we were still completing the registration, -meaning that Zahra was not an official pupil yet,- we didn't let her.

When Zahra's father was out for completing all payments, we played outside, at the playing area. Not many Zahra could play there. There were only seesaw, slide, and a tiny house. Suddenly, the door of one class opened that made us able to see pupils in the class. I let Zahra know and see them, "Zahra, look! Friends!". One of the pupils came out. Zahra went toward her. But the teacher asked the girl to come back inside. Unrealised Zahra following the girl, the teacher closed the door. Zahra looked upset. She came back to the playing zone.

When Zahra was playing, she saw an orange ball somewhere. She picked it up and showed me. She asked whose ball that was. I told Zahra that probably the ball that belongs to the pupils, "Perhaps they didn't know that they left the ball..." Then Zahra said, "Mah, tunggu ya. Tunggu di sini". Then Zahra brought the ball with her and walked toward the class. "Knock! Knock!" Zahra was knocking at the door firmly. "knock! Knock!" Zahra was knocking at the door firmly again. Then the teacher (apparently she was Indian -later I know her name is Ms. Laksmi) opened the door. With a wide surprising eyes she accepted the ball from Zahra. Full of smiles, she thanked to Zahra. Then she asked, "What's your name?". Zahra -who had been trained to answer such question- answered Ms. Laksmi's question. But Ms. Laksmi couldn't hear clearly what Zahra was saying. Then she looked at me -who was observing at a distance- asking the name. Ms. Laksmi thank to Zahra again. To appreciate what Zahra had done and to show an example of a good deed to the pupils, Ms Laksmi welcomed Zahra to showed up in front of the class. I think she introduced Zahra and explained the children what Zahra did about the ball. As Ms Laksmi let Zahra go, she asked for a hug, but Zahra looked reluctance to do it (later I find out that is because Ms Laksmi doesn't wear hijab, according my "interview" with Zahra).

With "jaim" smile, Zahra then back to me afterward...

Since it was quite hot that day, we came inside of the building. Somehow the teachers let Zahra join the class while I stayed waiting outside. Quite a while Zahra was being with the pupils and the teachers. Then Ms. Laksmi appeared. I was thinking that she would bring Zahra. Instead, she asked, "Are you Indonesian, right? Can you help me. There was an Indonesian boy crying and I don't know what he wants."

The crying boy, Adam, did not want anything. He only wanted his mother with him.

When I was inside the class comforting the crying boy, I noticed Zahra sitting on one chair among the pupils and doing a paperwork. It was a colouring activity. She looked enjoy and nothing bothered her. I felt glad coz' that could be the sign that the following days would go easier. "She's just great." that what Ms Laksmi's first impression about Zahra. Alhamdulillah, I felt proud of her. Before we left the class, Ms Laksmi rewarded a smiling-face pin and put it on Zahra's hijab, meaning that Zahra's behaviour was highly appreciated and that encouraged Zahra to show good behaviour again in the future...

Is the following days REALLY easier as I thought....? Don't miss my next diary :) InsyaAllah...

Doha, 14 Syawwal 1431 H / 23 September 2010
-Ummu Zahra-

Photo by Ummu Zahra

Psikologi Suami Istri (1) - Yang Pertama


“Psikologi Suami – Istri : Memahami Perbedaan Tabiat dan Karakter Seksis Laki-laki dan Perempuan Demi Membangun Keharmonisan Hidup Berkeluarga”

Beberapa tahun yang lalu, saya “menemukan” buku ini, dan tidak berlebihan jika saya katakan : I fell in love with this book for the very first sight.

Apa yang saya tidak pahami berkenaan dengan hubungan laki-laki dan perempuan (pernikahan) terjawab oleh buku ini. Suatu judul buku karangan DR. Thariq Kamal An-Nu’aimi. Buku ini sangat membantu dalam memahami perbedaan antara laki-laki dan perempuan, cara berpikir, cara bertindak, serta dinamikanya.

Mengutip pengantar dari penerbit :

“Buku yang ada di tangan Anda ini sedikit banyak akan merubah pemahaman kita perihal hubungan laki-laki dan perempuan. Karena di dalamnya mengungkap kesalahan-kesalahan yang sering kita perbuat secara spontan melalui tindakan kita sehari-hari. Yaitu kesalahan yang tidak disengaja meski bertujuan untuk membahagiakan pasangan kita. Kesalahan tersebut muaranya menyebabkan kesedihan, kesusahan, kejengkelan, keresahan dan penyesalan, yang akan terus berlanjut, sepanjang kita hidup dalam naungan suatu ikatan perkawinan, kesalahan itu sendiri bisa berlanjut pada sesuatu yang sangat dibenci Allah. Yaitu perceraian yang akan merobohkan bangunan kehidupan suami istri, merobohkan institusi keluarga dengan segala kebaikannya. Akibatnya dapat merusak kesehatan mental kita.”

Inilah yang mendorong saya berbagi sebagian dari isi buku ini. Sebenarnya terlalu sayang untuk dilewatkan untuk membaca buku ini bagian per bagian, kata per kata, karena keseluruhannya merupakan dinamika yang membantu kita memahami pasangan kita secara lebih baik dan membangun suatu hubungan yang sehat dan penuh kebahagiaan. Namun tentunya saya paham tidak semua orang gemar membaca buku. Tidak semua orang punya cukup waktu melahap 701 halaman buku. Oleh karena itu, saya mencoba meringkasnya dan membaginya dalam beberapa bagian posting tulisan agar para sahabat dapat mengambil manfaatnya. InsyaAllah….

Doha, 13 Syawwal 1431 H / 21 September 2010

-Ummu Zahra-