I then picked Zahra on my hands and bring her for a shower. Afterward, I put on a dress to her. Realising what she's going to wear, Zahra asked, "Mamah, mau kemana kita?". I told her that we were going to school and that also means that she had to have breakfast earlier. Otherwise, she could get hungry and wouldn't be good for her. Alhamdulillah, she did not refuse to have breakfast eventhough in smaller amount than usual. After finishing her milk, Zahra grab her tummy and showed me a dramatic expression (children love to make dramatic expression, don't they?)- I responded, "Kenyang sekali, ya?". She nodded. It is easily understood why she got so full -because she usually had breakfast around 8.00 - 9.00 am, but that day she had it on 6.00 am plus a glass of milk.
It was 6.20 when we left our house to hail a taxi. Zahra looked so neutral. I didn't see nervousness. Instead, she talked and asked much as usually Zahra.
We made it to school. Zahra still looked fine. We made salam to the teacher's assistant and made an initial communication about the school. Then I just realized that Zahra's expression of cheer and enthusiasm had changed to worry and nervousness. I supposed that because Zahra got affected by a girl crying on floor. As we know, children are so sensitive by other's cries. It is one sign of initial empathy in children.
Zahra attached her body to me showing that she was not comfortable and did not want me to leave. I gave her my hand to be kissed and expected for a hug, but Zahra refused. She realized that I was about to leave her. "Gak mau....!" She asked me to stay. Ms Laksmi said that that situation commonly happens in the morning, especially in 1-2 first weeks. But in the following weeks, children get adjusted to the new situation and environment, and everything will go smoothly.
Ms. Laksmi and I tried to comfort Zahra and brought her to other kids who were not crying. Ms. Laksmi bring Adam -the Indonesian boy I mentioned in my previous diary-. Unfortunately, it made Adam started to cry instead. I brought Zahra to a girl, said hi, and made them shake hands, but both girls refused.
I had been in the class several minutes while my taxi waiting outside. I must have gone. Ms. Laksmi had given sign that it's time for me to leave. Without kissing or hugging Zahra, I sneaking out and left Zahra crying out loud. I did not feel worry though. I had started the day with bismillah, we'd made dua, I trusted the school and Zahra's ability for adjustment. InsyaAllah she is a smart girl and I left Zahra under Allah's guidance and help.
Don't worry, sweety. Yesterday you made it great. I'm sure you'll made it great too today! InsyaAllah....
Photo by Ummu Zahra (tapi bukan foto hari pertama ke sekolah).